Thursday, August 29, 2013

Hey you.... {and your feelings}

click on image for a link to where saw it...
bummer that I can't figure out the original site.

(Please note, by "you" I very much mean me.)

Embarrassingly enough, I've been learning a little thing that I'm sure I should have learned decades ago.  At least I wish I did.  It's come as a bit of a surprise to me recently that I don't have to sign on the line every time my emotions make a sales pitch at me.  I'm a big girl now, and I've known this before, and I've hoped to persuade my kids of various versions of it, but I'm really just beginning to get it a little bit deeper and real-er myself.  

The shocking and glorious thing is this:  sometimes I can feel really (really) strongly about something, and I can still be wrong.  

Imagine that.  

(If you're already finding my stunning revelation ridiculous, you really should stop reading now.)  

For me, there's a lot of freedom in that... realizing that the measure of my feelings is not necessarily connected to the reality or accuracy of my view on an issue.  Humility, Jill.  How beautiful would that be?  

Then I saw this page (above) on Pintrest and it got me thinking how I really need some "Hey You" on my fridge, on my heart first thing in the day, under my nose while I'm at the kitchen sink, and generally carved deep into my soul.  I need something like this:

Hey You:  

Too much listening to 
(and way too much believing!)
your feelings.

Not enough taking thoughts captive 

Time for trusting your Father's sovereignty
choosing truth 
         choosing JOY
                   giving thanks

I could dive headlong into a deep dark mood (and probably take the whole house down with me) because I feel so strongly that I must be right .... or... I could choose truth and reject the slavemaster who lies and tempts me through my heart.  How many times have I called my feelings "wisdom" or even counted them as spiritual gifts (!) when I was really only stoking my own selfish ends, my pride, my plans?

Hey You is right.  And so is the kind friend who mentioned, just in passing, that maybe it would be good if I paid attention to what times of the month are the hardest for me?  And when I see that my hormones are probably talking louder than wisdom is inside my head.... what a help to dismiss the fears and accusations swiftly and bolt the door behind.  I don't need condemnation or judgment for me or anyone else swirling lies in my head and heart.... not any time of the month.  No.  I belong to the Truth, to walk with Him in the freedom he has eternally secured for me.... with His own blood.    

And of course, not all of my feelings are lies.  Not at all.  But that doesn't mean the opposite extreme is valid either.... that they're all true and I must blow wherever they take me.   I don't have to be a slave to whatever it is I'm feeling just because I'm feeling it.  I've been there long enough.  No more, by God's grace... no more.  Give me a Truth-rooted mind and sensitive, real emotions that are held and hemmed in by Truth.

So for the days when I feel guilty (of maybe nothing in particular, just looming, lurking, horrible guilt for surely something terrible) and then of course, when I'm feeling defensive, to follow that up, I can deal with my own heart on the matter.  I can capture that untruth instead of letting it fling me around on it's leash.  I can stop trying to blame everyone else for something else when none of us know what the deal is.   Oh to be ruled by what is true, to speak truth and deal truly with others.  

When he's telling me he'd like to go ahead with his plan even though we're not agreed on it right now....  Well then?  What freedom and grace for me to let it be.  I may feel strongly, but that doesn't mean I'm right and I'm a much happier wife to lay things down and trust my love and my Lord and hopefully break free of more of this self-intoxication.  

When I'm sure I've got the whole whatever-it-is figured out just right and people should be paying me for my opinions on the matter, Bring me to the Truth!  And for petty bothers, like when I feel like pulling my hair out because Proverbs 25:17 has been broken yet again, and I Cannot Take It Anymore?   I can remember, He Will Give me Strength for This.  He is with me even now....Peace, Peace.

When I don't know what to do, how to handle it, how to proceed....  He has promised me wisdom and that He is with me.  And that doesn't mean there won't be soul trembling over important matters, but there should be still remembering:  I'm Anchored to Love.  I'm not a slave to fear.  He won't let me go.    

And for the very real days when it's the truth on the ground that is most painful to dwell on (no lies needed for despair to feel justified) Oh God! help me to set my mind on things above and the joy that is promised still ahead.  

Oh Father God, give me your peace, joy, and freedom in the blazing, beautiful power of your Truth.  

1 comment:

  1. Lovely and insightful, Jill. I'm not sure to what extent hormones are really to blame...but I'm pretty sure this spirit comes from the same place regardless of the time of month! Your Proverbs quote reminds you happen to have any recommendations for a study on Proverbs? The more I read it the less I understand it. :)