It's not beyond God....

The past ten days or so have been a hard season of grief.  In our own lives, the Lord has done some hard heart work in us, and around the world about that many days ago, our very dear brother in Christ died.

Nabeel Qureshi, author of Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, was only 34 years old when he finished his battle with stomach cancer and finished the race of faith and met his Savior and heard the words "well done, my good and faithful servant."   We've grieved this precious brother oh so hard.  (We never met him or knew him personally, only from reading his books and hearing some videos of him.)  We have been and will continue to pray for his beautiful wife and daughter and for all who came to Christ or who have considered Christ because of the testimony and teaching of this man.

Nabeel's wife, Michelle Qureshi, just posted a video (Vlog #44, A More Glorious End) where she processes the death of her dearly loved husband Nabeel.

She shares... "It's not that God didn't listen to Jesus (to His prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane), it's that His bigger plan was to make Jesus' torturous death on the cross the most beautiful turning point in history.  Because He died we live.  Death is even a redeemable thing.  It's not beyond God to redeem.  It's not beyond God to use death for His greater purposes of glorifying Himself and showing His love to the world He created."  

and then.... "I am fully convinced that God will use his death to a more glorious end than we would have seen if Nabeel were still alive.  Nothing has changed about God's character.  He's still sovereign, good and trustworthy.  The whole reason we exist is to bring Him glory.  And when we do so we are stepping into the best life we can possibly imagine.  We just need to ask for the ability to set our minds on things above, not on things that are on the earth."

Words fail us to think of this loss, this grief.....
and also,
words are far too small, far too few, to express the hope and certainty
of Nabeel's eternal joy
Right. Now.

We pray...
Oh God whose ways are far beyond ours, draw us to trust in Your goodness 
and sovereign care and plan.  
Humble us before you 
and redeem this great loss for your glory.   
Redeem this death for your greater glory God.  
And provide for this beautiful wife and daughter...
Our eyes are on you.  
Help us to trust You alone.

New Mom, New Kid

I had heard of this book before and maybe I'd seen the cover.  I thought about it as a book for other people.  People who thought there'd be a quick fix or an easy formula to get parenting right- let them try it.  I knew better than that.

But in a very grey puddleslug season of mothering recently, a dear friend and mentor passed on this same title to me encouraging me to take a look.  Hearing it from her, I finally agreed and snatched up a kindle copy of How to Have a New Kid by Friday (by Dr. Kevin Leman.)

So... my humble pie?  The book is totally, especially, exactly for me.  It's a book that is positively about helping me be a stronger mom before I even think of focusing on getting any new kids from the deal.  You bet I want to see change in them, but I know I need change in me first.  Leman tells you in the book not to ruin the fun and tell your kids about the changes coming (when you start implementing the strategies in the book) but instead, just to make it a surprise for them.   No threats, no warnings, just consequences delivered on the spot.

At our house, I'm happy to tell them that I'm learning, I'm changing, I'm becoming a new mom who is aiming to do a much better job at helping my kids learn to obey, choose wisely, and work for excellence.  Seems only fair to give them just a tiny heads up that things, are, indeed changing around here....

I had heard that the book was about giving your kid real life consequences.  I thought I knew enough about that and that I was probably doing it about as good as could be done.  I was wrong.   This book is equipping me to change things pretty completely.

These have happened already....
Old:  "Hey kids, can you please pick up your roller blades and helmets at the front door?"
They'd "forget" and I'd steam a bit and holler louder and get testy and unfun and holler some more before the job would maybe, half-way get done, half an hour later...
New:  1- Give them the instruction one time (smiling firm with "I love you and I am your authority" certainty into their eyes (that's my little addition)) 2- turn your back, 3- walk away.  When I see half an hour later that they stepped over their rollerblades and went outside to play, I ask their brother to put it all away for them.  And add "and buddy, those two will be paying you from their allowance for this extra chore you're doing for them.  Good job."  And you know, he gets the job done well and they won't forget so easily again.

Old:  Rudeness and disrespect in classtime.   I used to lecture them about it- it never helped them one drip and it only heated me up with frustration and helped them not want to hear my words.
New:  "Hey loves, since you were unpleasant in classtime, I'm going to add extra classwork to make your afternoon less pleasant for you too.  Here's your extra math assignments.  I hope this will help you remember now that a kind and respectful attitude is absolutely expected of you in our family."

Old:  Bickering at the table.  For so long, I've felt like there's nothing that I could do for a bad attitude or for behavior like this.  I was wrong.
New:  "You two are excused from the breakfast table.  You'll have to sit in your room till you can speak to each other peacefully and solve this on your own."  And if plates have been removed from the table when they come out, a little extra hunger will help them remember to find a way to speak peaceably at the table next time.  (Dr. Leman makes a strong case for never doing things for your kids that they can do for themselves.  Peacemaking is a big one.  Their responsibility- more often than not- not my job to solve their squabbles for them.)

And... from the book Siblings Without Rivalry, a recent GEM that was loaned to me from across the country!, the authors say the same thing.... how parents can aim to guide kids to solving problems, making peace themselves without parents taking either side.  (I'll have to write more about this book soon too... it helps me so much to write to remember!)

This one hasn't happened yet, but I'm ready for it now...
Old:  Arguing in public or in the car.  Again, I would just lecture them about why they should stop and complain about how terrible it is to listen to them....
New:  Since parenting can be awfully inconvenient, strong parents need to be ready to be really inconvenienced for the sake of serving and training their kids well, the book reminds us.  I need to be ready to turn the car around and take them home hungry.   And not give in and fill their tummies with treats as soon as they show one tiny glimmer of repentance or some new kindness.  Hold your ground, mama.  "No dear, I'm really not going to take you to that friend's house even though you're speaking more kindly now.   I'm glad you're doing better but I need to see you choosing to keep yourself speaking respectfully.  We'll have to try again for next week."

Dr. Leman stresses, when giving consequences:  "B doesn't happen until A is done."  A is the consequence you give them..... and B is everything else that every child depends on their parents for....   money, driving privileges, phone access, time with friends and online....    I'm realizing that more up-front, real-world consequences over things that matter helps my kids see me for what I truly want to be for them:  the kind of mom that loves them fierce and true and will stand up and fight for them and dive in and get dirty helping them to learn character and skillful excellence. I want to be the kind of mom that will pour out my last comforts and conveniences for the sake of truly, really helping them grow up into maturity and honor.  Lecturing has never done the job.

Personally, I've felt handcuffed by fears of stepping outside what our culture (and this culture) insists is positive, polite parenting... Plus, I couldn't imagine a tolerable way to be a stronger HELP to our kids, rather than just telling them what I hoped they would do.  One of my dear friends joked on me for "hurling virtues" at our kids while I was cooking in the kitchen:  "Come one guys! Bravery!  Kindness!  You can do it!"  I think, in general, we are a generation of parents that doesn't know how to be strong for our kids,  to be a helpful, loving authority, training our children to get good things down.  I think our parental handcuffs and handicaps are plain as day when you look at kids in this generation.  And I'm glad there's some help and some hope to see things change for the better...

FEEL... growing to see the gift and strength of emotion

A few years ago, we listened to a sermon series from Tim Keller that later became his book The Prodigal God.  When we finished, I made a mental list:  Things Our Kids Must Hear / Read Before They Go... (and grow out of our home).  Keller's series is the first on the list.

Nancy Pearcy and Francis Schaeffer are on the list.  There will be something from the Rebelution crowd...  And a few from Piper (of course).  And now also this book by Matthew Elliot:  Feel:  the power of listening to your heart.  It's a Biblical look at emotions, a very practical, helpful guide to sharpening your understanding of your own heart; this book was a  very needed gift.  As I read, I felt like I was in a growth spurt, climbing up some emoto-meters on a sacred doorframe.  This message seems to me an enormous help toward maturity and holiness and sensitivity for whole soul health and relationships.  

It must be noted that, I think, the book has a pretty terrible subtitle.  Bad enough to solidify in one or two of us Ks a serious enough (mis)judgement that we were ready to skip this gem altogether... just because of that one dumb line.   Having now devoured the book and profited from every page, I firmly believe that the subtitle is the last dumb line in the whole book.   And true, the book actually does address where and how and why there is goodness in "listening to your heart" but the way that our culture sings that song, even with those exact words, (in too many princess movies and all sorts of lines of deception and lure) I think it would have been much better to invite people in, to read the substance of the book before using Disney's words to mean something far better than Disney's ever dreamed.  

So... emotion.  It turns out, as Matthew Elliot exposes it, that much of what the wider Christian community has assumed is a "Christian view" or understanding of emotion, just really wasn't a fully bodied appreciation of the gift that the God of the Bible has delighted to create in us.  I think as Christians, we have tried to compensate for what seems often like a sinful emphasis on "just do whatever feels good to you" and have ended up tossing out a gift that we've actually been commanded to guard and grow, that was meant to lead us in wisdom, and to be a sparkling, winsome display of the fruit of the Spirit in our ordinary lives where we live in a dry and weary land.   

A wise and beautiful friend shared with me this past fall how she's been learning in counseling that her sadness isn't a bad thing.  For so long she assumed and acted as if feeling sad meant not trusting God.  Not so.  Sadness is needful and entirely appropriate in it's time.   

Another dear friend saw me right after we said good-bye to Matt's parents last month.... We would fly back to our China home the next day and I had a thousand weights on my heart about good-byes, preparations, the days of travel ahead of us, and landing back to in difficult place.  My friend said to me something about feeling deserted by God.   True, I was a wreck:  so sad and low strength.  But I wasn't doubting God's goodness or His faithfulness to His promises to me.  Not at all!  I was feeling sad.  And it was a worthy moment to feel exactly that.  Even knowing well and clinging to God's goodness, nearness, faithfulness.

I've felt so helped in reading this book to realize that my emotions are indeed something that I should pay careful attention to, be honest with myself and others about, and wisely choose how I let them guide me.

The book tied in to another gift that Matt and I received in January.  We met a few times  with a wise counselor friend and were very surprised to realize that though I am an intense "feeler" and can be crazy longwinded, I don't communicate my emotions, or actually name my feelings, very well at all.  Too often he would hear me trying to explain a hard situation as me being hard on someone else (whoever I was interacting with).  Instead, what would be so much better is to simply express is how I'm feeling... That way he can comfort me (which is what I want and need) rather than respond by trying to fix the situation or address or defend the other person (which is not where we need to go at all.)   

Our counselor suggested such a simple thing as asking each other "How are you feeling about...?" (instead of our normal "What do you think about...?") or "How do you feel when I do/say....?"  Or, a big one for the wife whose husband isn't the most verbose of all men, "dear, it looks like you're feeling.... Am I understanding you rightly?"

An unexpected and fantastically helpful blessing of this emotional awareness has come for us in parenting.  Since trying to apply this learning even in just the simplest ways to our discussion and interactions with our kiddos, I'm thinking that this might be quite a game changer for us.  Too often it's been my tendency to try to talk our kids out of what they're saying, without even acknowledging their feelings.  

They might say of their siblings, "No body wants me to play with them!"... and I would respond on the contrary.  "That's not true... They really love you even if they've been unkind...." or  "No... you're not seeing the situation rightly...."

How much better to dialog with them gently with words like:  "oh man, I can see that you're feeling really hurt and sad.  I really want to understand how you're feeling because you matter so much to me.  Can you tell me why you're feeling like that?"  

Our kids have responded so much better to us since we've seen this and tried to slow down and speak into their eyes and ask questions that get right into the realest depths of their treasured hearts.  Now, this and every other little trick we've tried has yet to give us a ticket out of the Fall that's broken all of us, and most days we're feeling remarkably broken still, but we're clinging to grace. And still, trying to hear each other's hearts and love each other in our realest feelings has been a sweet new gift to enjoy as we limp forward in grace together.

growing hope

"Of all the emotions we want to grow, hope is the hardest..... because hope is about believing, we need God's help and the power of the Holy Spirt to accomplish it in our lives.  But we can certainly enlarge our hope as we place our belief squarely in what he promises.

How much standing-on-tiptoes, butterflies-in-the-stomach, latch-onto-it-like-a-vise-grip hope do you have for the things God says are in your future?  

Here's just one promise to consider:  "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.  All these things are gone forever."  Now go out and should that from the rooftops!  Better yet, live out your hope before everyone, and live your life in light of the coming triumph of hope and joy and love over death and sorrow and paint.  You are a member of the kingdom of hope!

Take that, you evil world!

Take that, death!

Take that, war and terrorism.

Take that, disease, disaster and poverty!

Take that, sin and sorrow and selfishness in my own heart!

It is only a matter of time before you will be gone forever."

Feel.  by Matthew Elliott.  page 185

could we talk books?

I just opened up Francis Schaeffer's  book How Should We Then Live? .  He's long been a favorite of my husband but I've never read anything from him (though his daughter Susan is an absolute inspiration to me.)  The third page in, I was struck by this, the last paragraph of the foreword to my edition.  It makes me want to read this with a book club, some dear friends who could pour over these thoughts and cherish and challenge and apply these ideas together.  Do you want to join me for a bit of book savoring?

Here are Lane T. Dennis's words from the foreword (written Feb 2005).

Schaeffer's question to each of us- "How should we then live?"- is especially urgent in our own day as we see the growing disintegration and decline of truth and morality throughout our world.  What then is the answer that Schaeffer offers in response?  It is a commitment to God's Word as truth.  It is a compassion for a culture that is lost and dying without the gospel.  It is a commitment to the costly practice of truth  in the midst of the intellectual, moral, and philosophical battles of our day.  It is living in the power and reality of the God who is there, bearing the witness of His truth across the full spectrum of life and culture. As stated by Schaeffer in his closing words:  "This book is written in the hope that this generation may turn from... the paths of death and may live."  Few have articulated this message more clearly and demonstrated this message more consistently than Francis Schaeffer.  And because of this, few will come to the end of this book without a new vision for how, indeed, we should live.

Feeling compelled?  I'd love to read along side you and mull over these thoughts with you friends!  I'd love to hear from you...

Prayer {by Tim Keller // the bullets}

Tim Keller has written a feast of insight and doable encouragement in his book Prayer.  (Super thanks to one very cool redheaded K brother in law for the book!)  It's taken me between two Christmas's, plus a little, to keep at it long enough to get to these chapters that have most impacted me.  I don't know why I put the book down for such long stretches, but I am deeply soul grateful to have made it to chapters 7 -10.

I realized recently that until I've written something down, I don't feel like I really know it...  know what I'm thinking.  I have only a swirling chaos of feelings until I've written down the swirling lines and seen it all settle somewhere, hopefully into some order.  Writing is thinking for me.  And hopefully writing will help me remember.

So... here's a few bullet points I long to know and remember and live well:  quotes (some from Keller, and more from dead theologians he recalled in these chapters) and doable suggestions and guidelines for prayer and scripture meditation:

Luther's teaching on prayer~

He wrote of inclining the mind and heart by mulling over Scripture like this.  Take one verse or one passage and consider it, let it weigh down on you from four different angles:  consider the verse as a command of God for me, as a cause for thanksgiving and praise, as a confession of how and where I fall short, and as a prayer for the grace I need to grow in this way...  He suggests that the second part of a helpful prayer time is going through the Lord's prayer as a pattern for inserting your own, specific needs and thanks and issues to surrender to the Lord.  Notice that both of these steps require our mind being fully engaged.  No "tuning out" possible!  His final "step" is to simply pray as you feel led by the Holy Spirit and to keep attentive to what He may preach to you now that you have inclined your mind and heart towards Him and His Word.  

Calvin's "rules" on prayer ~

1-  the joyful fear:  "there is nothing worse than to be devoid of awe."  Tim Keller
2-  the sense of need that excludes all unreality: a spiritual humility that doesn't try to perform to impress God
3-  submissive trust:  we come to God bringing our requests and leaving them with Him, "Your will be done.  You know best, Father"
4-  confidence and hope:  God invites us to ask and promises to answer - may we have eyes and hearts ready to receive what he deems is best.
5-  the rule against rules:   Following any set of rules could not make our prayers worthy to be heard... only grace can do that- not our performance but the saving, gracious, loving work of Christ on the cross.

And then from Keller's chapter ten, "Meditation."

• The Psalms are the prayer book of the Bible and they begin not with a prayer but with a meditation on meditation (Psalm 1).  
• Questions to ask yourself to get to know a verse or passage:
• Am I living in light of this?  Am I taking this seriously?
• What difference does this make?
• What results from forgetting this?
• What does this teach me about God and His character?
• What does this teach me about human nature and behavior?
• What does this teach me about Christ and His salvation?
• What does this teach me about the church or life in the people of God?
• Application:
• Are there personal examples for me to emulate or avoid?
• Any commands to obey?
• Any promises to claim and cling to?
• Any warnings to heed?
• Why might God be showing you this passage today?
• "You can't reflect on or enjoy what you don't understand.  To understand a section of Scripture means answering two main questions:  1) what did the original author intend to convey to his readers?  2) what role does this text play in the whole Bible; how does it contribute to the arc of the Bible message, which climaxes in the salvation provided by Jesus Christ?"  (Keller)
• More ways to handle the Word of God, to know it deeply and know it well...  
• Emphasize each word individually as you read and reread the verse.
• Paraphrase a passage in your own words.
• Memorize the passage.
• And this crowning GRACE:  "How can anyone truly think intensely about the law of God and not fall into despair?...  Look at the central figure of the Word, the Word made flesh, the great Mediator."  He is not only our example and our teacher, His life and death satisfy God for us!

on Contentment and Taming Time

Time management isn’t just a stuffy priority for driven Wall street executives and CEOs with killer deadlines.  My moments on the homefront, hours in the kitchen, my days here are the very stuff that I’ll stand responsible for before my Maker one day.  I long to live in such a way as to give to the Lord the best offering that I can from all the time He’s given me.

Months ago I began thinking of time and tasks differently.  I wrote out my pondering and I talked with friends, and one mentioned to me the book What’s Best Next, by Matthew Perman.  This book really got me going.  It’s gold for Christians who want to “make the most of every opportunity” and “redeem the time because the days are evil.”  

Now that I’ve read Perman’s book and let these ideas sink in and simmer in my mind and in my own planning for half a year, I feel gratefully and quite radically transformed with a new goal and approach to planning my days.  It’s not an app. (You definitely should be laughing.  Of course I will not be coming up with an app, though I was curious about the possibilty for a few too many weeks this past winter!)  But I feel like I’ve been learning a few things that are helping me to distinguish and Focus on the most important things and Rejoice and be content in the good work that the Lord has given me (rather than being depressed that I didn’t get more less-important things crossed off my idol-list in a day.)

Until late last fall, I planned my days with a straightforward to-do list.  My husband, who grew up blessed with a heritage of Franklin Covey planning strategy  taught me to prioritize my list with A, B, and C.  But I was still pretty stuck on needing to get my whole list done every day.  Perman, who praises much of the time management plan of David Allen in his book Getting Things Done, said that though Allen means for his list-keeping plan to make your mind “like water,”  Perman found it made his brain rush “like a tsunami.”   Not desirable!

I lived with that tsunami too. I was far too easily tuned in to my to-do list rather than into the relationships or the everyday responsibilities that I have because of who I am.  There was pressure and it could get ugly if I was pressed up against the end of my time and not yet the end of my list.  What was on my list?  I don’t even know now… but it was long and it all felt terribly urgent and it drove me most every hour, every single day.  

Then I started challenging this pressure plan and began thinking of “Role Planning,” or what Perman calls “Time Mapping.”   It’s just the idea that instead of trying to do everything, all the time, that I can mark out what roles I need to attend to at what times every day, and at those times, work on only the tasks associated with that role.  Perman helped this idea sink in with his write up on the example of George Washington… how his days were quite set with what responsibilities he attended to at what times.  “People operate best from routine, not a set of lists,”  urges Perman.  

For example, school mornings at 8:30AM, I homeschool our big kids.  In that time, I need to fully attend to teaching, giving my attention to our kids, and the lessons before us together.  I don’t need to be busy with any tasks beyond being a good teacher. I will be investing my time best if I give myself wholly to lead and teach and serve and love my kids well as their teacher in our homeschool time together.   

None of the bills to pay, floors to mop, or emails I need to write matter in those homeschool hours.  There’s a slice of time devoted to admin later in the day, and I can do that then.  And what doesn’t get done in my admin time, can be moved to the next chunk of admin time because though there are a few truly urgent things, not everything is urgent all of the time!

Another fun and helpful slot in our days at home is chores.  We do chores together right after breakfast, right after lunch.  I grew up with chores checked on once a week.  Maybe that's the thing to blame for learning to procrastinate so very well?  And maybe procrastinating- and it's doable functionality- is to blame for so much stressful pile-up of pressures sometimes?  But chores don't add up with the same intensity when we're doing them all together at the right time every day. 

Focusing on my role rather than just tasks was the first transformation for me and my drive-me-crazy to-do list.  The second change has come without me recognizing it until I’ve been able to look back on it with the clearer vision of hindsight.    I began realizing several months ago that focusing on roles was gradually leading to shorter lists of tasks that I felt were so urgently associated with each role.  I wondered if I was just getting lazy?  

I had thought that I needed a list running of all my responsibilities (I used the free Wunderlist app to keep track of my roles and the tasks needed under each role.) I had lists of all that needed to be done for homeschool prep and lessons and admin jobs I must complete and friends we need to invite over and cleaning to be done.  But I began to see that as I tuned into simply attending to my right-now job, I could get the work of that job done with creativity and focus if I simply gave it my whole heart and attention now, instead of feeling like I needed to fill it with some extra special meaning (extra tasks to do to make it better.) I know how to be a mom, with my kids, caring for our home, making meals, blessing guests.   I know what I’m responsible for and I can do this, by the grace of God, and I will call it good, and take deep joy in the work that’s been given to me.  

All of my roles and relationships-  as worshipper, wife, mom, homeschooler, friend & hostess- are responsibilities that I alone can care for and complete in this world.  What a grace to get to serve in these ways!

Maybe it’s been my heart that’s changed in ways I can’t quite verbalize.  What I do know for sure is that I’m not as task-driven, not as obsessed with more and more to-dos all the time.  I am responsible to serve faithfully today and to “plan noble things” (Isaiah 32:8, as Perman points out) and I don’t need to cram pack my future now.  More and Busy isn’t always better.  (Maybe it isn’t better?)   Somehow, there’s been a sweeter, hopefully humbler heart in learning to be faithful to my responsibilities for today, to take joy in the work given to me to do, in planning for His glory and in trusting the Father to bring things into being in His time. I’m feeling the peaceful grace of a newly gentle friend ~ time~  that Bradley Blakeman spoke of when he said “You tame time through routine.”  

Be content with the roles you’ve been given, Jill.  Receive these gifts and be faithful and diligent to the work that Master has given you.  Attend to your responsibilities- to caring for the relationships you’ve been so generously gifted!- in such a way as to hear Him smilingly say, when He comes, “well done, good and faithful servant.  Enter into the joy of your Master.” 

As I see it, there are two pieces of What’s Best Next that set it wildly apart from other time management books or planning systems I've seen.  First, in his section about “mission statements” and “life calling statements” and why they’re helpful and how to create one, Perman spells out for his readers that writing a Mission Statement is easy.  Other time planning gurus will tell you something like “find the most important thing to you” or as “what is it you want most?” But here, Perman switches from Project Planner to Pastor and tells us that as Christians, our Mission Statement is chosen for us by our King and declared in His Word.  He urges us that our highest goal needs to be something along the lines of “To glorify Christ and make Him known,” or at least, it’s approximately that substance in whatever words sound best to your soul.  

The second part I loved about this book is that Perman zealously urges every reader to consider in their planning weekly, daily, life goals… all of it…  “How Can I Serve Others?”  “How, this week, can I make some contribution to eliminating local needs and sorrows and even global ones?”  How excellent to be pressed toward this in a time management book!  I can’t think of a time when I’ve read anything about time management (outside of the Bible!) that urges me so straightforwardly to not be selfish with my time, to give myself away, to prefer others above myself and serve their needs first, with the best of me….  But could it be a Christian approach to Time Planning, if it didn’t?  Perman zings the bullseye.  What a deep and abiding blessing I believe it is and will be in my life and family and community as I learn to focus on the Best things…

Another example of the wisdom and helpfulness of this book is a section that Perman includes on how much to plan and schedule.  He urges readers to avoid the rush-hour crunch of traffic in their personal planning.  Leave your roads (your schedule) filled to 70% capacity.  If you pack too much in, the roads don’t flow smoothly.  It takes more work and wastes time if you need to rearrange one item and, also critically important, the 30% margin leaves needful, healthy space in a schedule for creative, thorough thinking and finishing up on work.   He firmly believes that planning our time to be about 70% filled, will help people get more done than trying to set tasks and appointments filling our time to the brim.   There’s a lot of peace pressed into planning like that!

Perman wrote his helpful, sharpening wisdom aimed, I think, a bit more at folks working in outside careers.  My few ideas to share here have been very much influenced by his writing but have also been tweaked to best suit freelance-creatives and women blessed to get to labor in and outward from their homes.  

Here’s my little plan:

I have a Grand Planning page which includes 1) my life mission statement, 2) my seasonal calling statement (what is the work of God for me in this season of months or years?) 3) my roles (closely connected to my relationships), 4) values-characteristics-principles (whatever you want to call it!) and 5) normal routine- my role plan.  

To Plan Each Week:  
Pray.  Review your grand planning page to reorient yourself with your priorities and ask for wisdom to see what’s most important to accomplish for the Father’s glory, to be a faithful to the responsibilities He’s given you, to bless and serve others to advance His kingdom.   

Perman talks about having a few lists- not one for every role- but a few that feed into your roles and weekly schedule.  My Lists are:   Needful (urgent and important), Hopeful (important, not urgent), Books to Read , Emails to write, and Posts to write.   With my mind aware of my priorities and these few lists, I can set out to plan each day.  

To Plan Each Day:
My days roll according to roles, not tasks.    The routine I build for my time includes time to worship and read and journal, time to clean up and lead our kids in chores after breakfast and dinner, time for homeschool, meal prep and groceries, language study and visiting with friends .   Some roles are in the same place every day, but some roles are only assigned to specific days...  Think of the old idea of Monday being baking day, Tuesday being wash day...   

For each day I note 1) Needful things (the stuff with a deadline- be honest, not everything is urgent) 2) Role Goals (see below) 3) a verse to pray or character issue to work on in my own heart or prayer request to lift up 4) scheduled events and needful preparation.  On the side of each week's plan, I also note the books to read this week and emails and posts to write for odd moments that may possibly be unfilled.  

Perman also suggests noting what you need to do and what you want to do every day.  For me, it works better to consider what I want to do, in the place of time (in my role plan or "time map") where I can care for myself, which is most often done in time alone with the Lord or with my husband, or occasionally, with friends or to be alone maybe to work creatively on a project or read.  

Each day I aim my heart at what I call Role Goals.  In each main role of the day, what is the most important thing to attend to?  It might be a character issue to pray for or model and train my kids towards.  It might be spending quality time with one of my kids.  My Role Goal is my gold for making it a good day.  I might not even need to write anything down because the best work for me to attend to now may be already known and richly, deeply entrenched as a pattern in my day.  Simply being faithful to the work given to me, is enough for me, that when I'm reviewing in my mind if this was a good day, I can be content, knowing that I have served the best I can for the relationships and the work that was given to me this day.  Extra productivity is not required to sustain or increase my value as a person, or my acceptance to my God.  Faithfulness, excellence, creativity, being wholly present in attending to the work the Lord has prepared for me... this is what matters.    This is what builds my life, the offering of my life that I one day will present as my offering to the Lord.  May it be the best I can possibly make of it... by His grace, for His glory.

~~~~

We recently hosted a Creative Arts Concert at our house for several precious homeschooling families to join us to celebrate and encourage our kiddos.  There were more than a dozen performances and more outstanding masterpieces displayed in a gallery viewing time.

Here's to celebrating the music lovers among us who are learning to keep time...

There are some fantastic big girls in our community that we're so grateful our girls can enjoy and admire.

their performance, "The Beauty of Ballet" was Marian demonstrating the five positions in ballet and then a minute of free-form dance from both of them... it was creative and beautiful (at least to their own mom and dad!)

he's playing Vivaldi's "Spring"....  love hearing him make such beautiful music!
Our sweet John only displayed his "Peregrine Falcon Lego Flyer" but he was clear that he didn't want to have to stand up besides it and talk about it.  He'll get there.  Sorry, no pics of his creative construction!

“You need to keep your eyes focused on what you are here to contribute, not simply to do.  You need to direct yourself to effectiveness- the right outcomes- not mere activity.  Therefore, don’t ask “what tasks need to be done?”  Ask yourself “what outcomes need to be accomplished?”  Then determine the activities that will get you there.”  

~ Matt Perman, What’s Best Next.

Oh! Summer Days

Our crew here is getting dark, perfect farmer tans only they're earning them not in rows of crops but on the baseball field.  Matt has our big three at 5 mornings of baseball a week and Vivi is in school for 4 mornings too so I'm getting some time.... alone, quiet, to think, to finish things, to read, to be... (did I mention it) alone?

I almost don't know what to do with myself.  I Love It. There's projects to finish and so many words I'd love to read and words I'd love to write.  And not all of it's getting done.  But I'm grateful.   And I still have a bit more time...

We've also had friends to visit.  Precious friends from out of town (Can't believe I didn't get better shots of the girls altogether!  The boys are below.)  and some sweet fellowship with families in town too.  And the recent joy in local friendships?  There are stories to be shared elsewhere.  Crazy, amazing, wonderful grace!

happy fourth! 

Words that I've been loving so far this summer-

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus (by Nabeel Qureshi) Such a helpful read for anyone wanting to know more about Islam and wanting to understand how Islam can be called a "religion of peace" when the IS is dead set on slaughter in the name of Islam.  I loved getting to see the elegance and piety and sincerity of Qureshi's parents in the book, and how Qureshi explained the differences in generations and cultures that he grew up in and around.  My favorite part-  the hunger that grew and demanded that he must find what is True about God.  

Saving Leonardo (by Nancy Pearcy).  Crazy good.  Every youth pastor needs this.  And every parent.  And every Christian who wants to be able to make any sense out of this world today and how easily duped we all can be by crowds and currents and pretty pictures.  I'm just getting into this one and feel profoundly blessed to be able to read these pages of such wisdom and insight.  Grateful for this woman who has taken such time to pour out her understanding in these pages.

Returning to the Pure Relationship

I didn't know what to expect of this book.   Gift of the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, has been a well-loved classic for several generation of women in America.  Ann Voskamp said she reads it every year (if I remember correctly?).  I figured I better give it a try.

Such gentle writing.  Such humble, beautiful wisdom.  In chapter four, where she writes about the first stage, initial romance of a relationship when two people "stand as individuals, without past or future, facing each other"(p 66) Lindbergh gave me a clearer (sweeter) vision for what we can aim for in our alone time together.  What we're after on a "date night" (if that were ever to happen!) or on a "connecting night" (what Matt and I call our stay-at-home dates, the nights we try to tuck the kids in early and focus entirely on each other for the rest of the evening) is something of a reforming the original, pure focus and delight in each other.  That sounds stars better to me than just catching up on what's been happening in my man's busy days.  For sure, some of the time, that'll be what we need... but hopefully we can carve out enough opportunity to reform the original beauty.

"It is true of course, the original relationship is very beautiful.  It's self-enclosed perfection wears the freshness of a spring morning. Forgetting about the summer to come, one often feels like one would like to prolong the early spring... One resents any change, even though one knows that transformation is natural and part of the process of life....(p66)" and growth. *

"Both men and women feel the change in the early relationship and hunger nostalgically for its original pattern as life goes on and becomes more complicated.  For inevitably, as the relationship grows, both men and women, at least to some degree, are drawn into their more specialized and functional roles... Functional relationships tend to take the place of the early all-absorbing personal one.   But woman refinds in a limited form with each new child, something resembling, at least in its absorption, the early pure relationship.  In the sheltered simplicity of the first days after a baby is born, one sees again the magical closed circle, the miraculous sense of two people existing only for each other, the tranquil sky reflected on the face of the mother nursing her child.  It is however, only a brief interlude and not a substitute for the original, more complete relationship." (p67)

Lindbergh writes of the joy of a vacation for a couple alone together.  "Most married couples have felt the unexpected joy of one of these vacations.  How wonderful it was to leave the children, the house, the job and all the obligations of daily life:  to go out together, whether for a month, or a weekend, or even just a night in an inn by themselves.  How surprising it was to find the miracle of the sunrise repeated.  There was the sudden pleasure of having breakfast alone with the man one fell in love with.  Here at the small table, are only two people facing each other.  How the table at home has grown!  And how distracting it is, with four or five children, a telephone ringing down the hall, two or three school buses to catch, not to speak of the commuter train." (p71)

Such wisdom in this!  And it overflows beyond marriage, to bless also, our relationships with our children.  "Actually, I believe this temporary return to the pure relationship holds good for one's children too.  If only... we could have each of our children alone [for some times]... would they not be happier, stronger and, in the end, more independent because more secure?  Does each child not secretly long for the pure relationship he once had with the mother, when he was "The Baby," when the nursery doors were shut and she was feeding him at her great alone? (p71)"

What sweet joy to aim for reforming this "pure relationship" as she calls it... with each of the ones that I most dearly love.  How sweet to have this new picture of what we can build into, of our relationship, in alone time I get with my husband and each of our children.  And oh!  To make such alone time, even if only brief moments together, a graced goal and priority in my time and lifestyle.  Lord, please build up my husband and each of our children as you pour into us grace and strength and more, please more of your best love, in the alone together moments that you give us in relationship.



*  And for just a bit more, from a few pages later, on Anne Morrow Lindbergh's view of what marriage grows into, beyond the first stage of gazing deeply on each other:  "Marriage, which is always spoken of as a bond, becomes actually... many bonds, many strands of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm.  The web is fashioned of love.  Yes but many kinds of love:  romantic love first, then a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship.  It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared experiences.  It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and disappointments.  It is a web of communication, a common language, and the acceptance of lack of language too; a knowledge of likes and dislikes, of habits and reactions, both physical and mental.  It is a web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges....  In the [deeper] stage of marriage, romantic love is only one of the many bonds that make up the intricate and enduring web that two people have built together." (p83)

May it be, Oh God, that you would build us into an enduring, adding-strength-and-joy-to-each-other marriage where others can behold a glimmer of the three-in-one, in us:  the two-woven-intimately-deeply-beautifully one.

Glory and Suffering (by Matt Papa)

Two pages from Look and Live... The words of Matt Papa, and perhaps especially John Newton's words here, are crucial in the fight of life as we press hard past the dross and filth and sorrows of this world toward the finish line of His smile and welcoming arms....  (This is only one of several excellent points in Papa's chapter on suffering.)



"God hates suffering, the Bible is clear on this, and yet He ordains it.  

Okay.  Maybe you say, "I get it."  Nice doctrine, man.  But still the bitter question remains, Why?...

WHY?

We will never know the specific reasons why God allows the pain He does in our lives, but we can know what is behind our suffering and find an unshakable, incomprehensible peace if we look through the cross.  The cross assures us of God's love of us, which is the greatest thing we need in times of suffering.  

We all know this.  When you experience deep hurt in your life, you don't need someone to preach to you.  You don't need someone to try to fix you.  You don't need answers.  You need a shoulder.

Well, lean in.

At the cross we see a God who not only works for our good, but who also suffers for it.  Bleeds for it.

Look at Him.

The Infinite Innocent, suffering in the place of the Barabbas race. 

If you can see Him sweating blood in Gethsemane, screaming in agony on Calvary... for YOU... then you can find peace in your deepest suffering and hope in your darkest hours.  

Why?

Because now you have a God who understands your suffering, not only by omniscience but by experience.  This shoulder you are crying on not only sympathizes with your weakness, but empathizes with them.  But not only this.  

When we look at our suffering through the cross, we see that the God who ordered the greatest tragedy ever, for the greatest good, will order our every tragedy for our good.  

Look at Him.

If He ordered a bloody cross for our eternal salvation, will He not order our every little prick and tear for our benefit?  This Romans 8:32's logic:  "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"

Because of the cross, we can know that all trials we meet are for our good.  They have to be.

As Tim Keller says, "The cross does not tell us what our suffering means, but it does tell us what it can't mean.  It can't mean that God doesn't love us."

The cross is where we get faith.  And when faith meets a trial, it does not say "God is not good."  It says, "This is God loving me.  Indeed, it could not be anything else."

If you can see Him, totally abandoned, crying "why?" for you on the cross, then you can cry "Why?" to Him freely while knowing you are forever embraced.  

As to daily occurrences, it is best to believe that a daily portion comforts and crosses, each one the most suitable to our case, is adjusted and appointed by the hand which was once nailed to the cross for us.  Everything is needful that He sends.  Nothings is needful that He withholds.   -John Newton  (The Letters of John Newton to Mrs. Wilburforce.  London:  The Religious Tract Society, 1869.  p 75)

Selected from Matt Papa's book Look and Live:  Behold the Soul-Thrilling, Sin-Destroying Glory of Christ.    p 193-195.

Dream Reads

I remember talking about book clubs once with Matt and his friend, Rob.  What great depths and heights there can be in discussing good reads with good friends, mulling over good books, words, life.  Rob chuckled at himself when he said "well, that sounds like it would mean having to actually process and apply what you read before moving on and just taking in another title."

And yea,  I really want that.   Not just the words before my eyes but the Word and even little words changing my heart, my mind, our lives together....  It is such joy to dive deep into good words with good friends!  

But book clubs are tricky.  There are some sweet ones online, its just that I can't commit to reading what others are interested in and I don't assume that anyone else would be interested in all the stuff that thrills me.

So, for the sake of good books talking to each other in my mind (like Ann Voskamp has said), and teaching me and fueling thoughts, dreams, transformation, life, and general beautiful joy, and for more of a chance to "chat" about books with you....  I'm going to try to post more about good reads here.  Maybe just a quick review or a prayer for applying it under our roof or a bit of its beauty, we'll just have to see what happens with it.  

and...  I'd absolutely love to hear what books you're enjoying or inspired by or challenged by, or maybe just filled with wisdom and beauty.   I cannot give thanks enough for book recommendations I've received from many of you friends, and if you have any chance to keep your favorite titles (and your thoughts about them!?) coming my way.... what a privilege it'd be to hear from you! 

What's on your Dream Read list for 2015?  What did you love best of reading in 2014?

My list still needs filling....  Here's what I've got so far.  (Aiming to read two books a month....  it would be a beautiful thing if it happens!)

1.  Somewhere More Holy, by Tony Woodlief.  Depth of sorrow with deep simmering grace as this man shares how Christ conquered his grief and rebellion.  I've never read a memoir from a man before....  profound and excellent beauty.  I loved it.  

2.  You and Me Forever; Marriage in Light of Eternity, by Francis and Lisa Chan.    Crucial, soul-stirring, beautiful message to married folks in the church.  

3.  Look and Live, by Matt Papa.  Nearing half way and very grateful for these simple illustrations and storytelling to reopen my eyes to the magnificent worth of the Gospel.

4.  A Gift from the Sea, by Anne Lindbergh Morrow.  

5.   Prayer, by Tim Keller.  

6.  A God-Sized Vision, Revival Stories to Stretch and Stir, by Collin Hansen and John Woodbridge.

7.  Saving Leonardo, by Nancy Pearcy.

8.  Women of the Word, by Jen Wilkin.  

9.  maybe some Mary Oliver poetry?  some Madeline L Engle literature? a Marilynne Robinson or Wendell Berry novel?  it's time for a library Kindle run.... and to gather up a few more of these dear pages to tuck into boxes heading over the Pacific with us soon!

10.  I'd like to have some more old (dead) authors here too for some time-tested wisdom....  any leads to share?  email me please or leave a comment...

far beyond...

I picked up You and Me Forever; Marriage in the light of Eternity, by Francis and Lisa Chan, at a friend's home....  Incredible.  Oh how I long for, how really we all need to have our hearts focused on and anchored with greater consideration of the eternity we say we believe in, that we say is forever and of magnificent importantce.  But don't we usually live like there's no such thing?   Don't our lives often look like we must believe that earth is all we've got. This book is a needful, excellent help for correcting that and inspiring earth-shattering, soul-satisfying joy.

One part that has stayed with me since I read it, is where they write about the common American Christian emphasis on family.  We often say "God first, family second."  And we live it as if family is a very close second. Or maybe, if family was "first" would it look any different than the so-called second place position we give it?  The Chans exhort us to see and remember and live out the radical truth that God is far beyond us, far greater, totally holy and eternally worthy of us giving away, as Jim Elliot said years ago, what we cannot keep to gain what we cannot loose.... all for this, all for God.

And, Matt Papa's book Look and Live goes well right along side it.  He tells a short story about this a guy who might leave a pile of bills on his table.  If he came home at the end of the day and realized his buddy found his bills and paid them all off for him he'd be grateful.  If the bills totalled $50, he'd say "Thanks man."  If the bills totalled $5 million, he would respond with far wilder expressions of gratitude and joy and indebtedness.... "command me, I am yours."

Papa nailed my heart when he challenged "too many of us respond with a "thanks man" to God.  But really, with the infinite weight of our sin, us fully deserving eternal death, and the infinite goodness of God's holiness, we ought to fall flat before him, all-soul-acknowledging "command me, I am yours."

These books have been sweet challenges, refreshing a fire in me to see more of the Lord's glory in my life.  Two books, ten stars total.  Highly recommended.

old words

A dear friend pushed this book into my hands as we parted, our family moving west to a new city.  The Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons, by Arabella Stuart.  I gasp just to think of it now... the immeasureable gift of this book.

The narrative, lives of these women, their husband, the people they served, the God they loved.  Really, what could be a better gift than to get to such grand story as this, these lives so beautifully lived, and to get that story into my soul and launch out to live as much of that fullness myself?

There's much, much more than I can share here now (hopefully there will be more future posts) but for now here's just one sentence. It's not an important sentence, it tells none of the central theme or purpose of Sarah Judson. But if the backdrop is this good...  well, I hope it will make you want to read it too.  This quote is from the second page about Sarah Judson's life.  The author has just finished describing the poor family she grew up in.  She was the first of thirteen children who had less privileges and pleasures than many.

"Children so situated are sometimes pitted by those who consider childhood as the proper season for careless mirth and reckless glee;  but they often form characters of solid excellence rarely possessed by those to whom fortune has been more indulgent."

The nobility, the excellence, resourcefulness, Christ-centeredness of these beautiful women's lives....I can't think of anything, for me, that would surpass this exquisite inspiration!  I hope you're hungry to read more...

And the thing is... you can!  How fantastic a gift is this?  Google Play (a free app) has Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons, by Arabella Stuart (first published somewhere in the middle of the 1800s) and it has Emily Judson's memoir of her successor, Sarah Boardman Judson, too....  All it takes is getting this app, signing into Google and then downloading the books.  For free!  They're that easily available, that delightfully priced.  Oh friends, if you need some soul stirring, soul-strengthening...  don't miss these old gold words.

much of heaven, much for Christ

"How much of heaven might Christians enjoy even here on earth if they would keep in view what ought to be their great object in life.  If they would but make the enjoyment of God their main pursuit how much more consistent their profession would be with their conduct, how much more useful their lives and how much more rapidly they would ripen for eternal glory...

"Christians do not sufficiently assist one another in their spiritual walk.  They are not enough in the habit of conversing familiarly and affectionately on the state of each others' souls, and kindly encouraging each other to persevere and get near to heaven.  One degree of grace attained in this world, is worth more than every earthly enjoyment....

"A little while, and we are in eternity; before we find ourselves there, let us do much for Christ."

~ Ann Judson (Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons, p 84-95)



more of the same:
- from Amy Carmichael:  "We have all eternity to celebrate our victories, and only a few moments before sunset to win them."
-from Alistair Begg (rewriting C. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional, Sept 25):  "It is to be feared that many believers lose their strength as Samson lost his hair, while sleeping on the lap of carnal security.  With a perishing world around us, to sleep is cruel; with eternity so close at hand, it is madness."



Oh for this eagerness, this affection and anticipation for Christ, this griping insistence on His pleasure!...  oh to be ripening right now for His glory!

Books.... so many good words!

Happily, we got some great reads that took no space in our travels and move this past spring.  I "bought" Teddy's Button for free on kindle and then followed it up with several more books that "readers who liked this one, also read..." We found some absolute gems!!  What a great rabbit trail to chase!

Here's the books we've been enjoying lately as read alouds together... 

Teddy's Button.  A super sweet book, probably especially for boys. 

A Golden Thread.  A helpful and capturing allegory to help kiddos connect obeying and blessing.  John remembered this story weeks after we read it and wanted to "keep holding onto the string that the Father gave to Eric."

A Basket of Flowers.  Needful.  Such a good showing of God's sovereignty in our lives even through suffering... and of His worth to follow Him still, even when it isn't easy.

A Peep Behind the Scenes.  (O.F. Walton.)  I recognized this author's name since a friend recommended Christie's Old Organ, by the same writer.  We've read both Walton books now, and while Christie's Organ was good, A Peep Behind the Scenes was outstanding.  This book is especially dear to me because I saw so many parallels to my own life, to my mother's life.  Oh such grace to be found by the Good Shepherd "who searches for His own until he finds them."  This one, more than all the others above, is worthy adult reading.  Prepare your soul for the weight of God's grace and glory as you read....   (which for me, means prepare for a lot of snot and tears.)  Even though this book was about a girl and her mother, it is one of Isaiah's top favorites that I've ever read to him.  (He's got a list of favorite books from mom and a list from dad b/c we read fairly different genres.)  

Black Beauty.   It was free and it took a lot of convincing but I think by about half way in, all the kids were hooked well enough to finish well.  It brought up some great conversations about caring for animals... especially since our area has been notorious for generations as a place where animals are not cared for well.  It also linked well to a tiny, fun mini-unit on horses for the end of homeschool in June.  

Most the books above were free or 99 cents on kindle.  Yummy for the budget, eh?!  And even better for the heart and soul and for relationships in our home.  I love reading together!!

Now we're into our third Patricia St. John book....  She might just be my favorite author... at least one of my top five.  I love this woman.  Love her writing- her substance and her stories.  Tanglewood Secret and Treasures in the Snow and now Star of Light....  all Five (thousand) Stars.  I don't imagine I'll find a book by her that doesn't stir my soul with beauty and excellence and love.  What a gift to unfold and enjoy these stories together with our children!

mark the map

I decided recently that I remember not at all as much as some friends do about their childhoods.  Perhaps it's because I grew up as an only child and there weren't others to recall things with very often... or perhaps it's just a weak-me thing.  But I do remember this moment...

I was nearing the top of the slide. I was four, maybe five years old.  And it was the big slide, the one that seemed like it was as tall as our balcony in our second floor apartment.  I was bound to land in a cloud of glory sand dust in just a second...  but I had a revelation.  I was still for a moment contemplating all the ramifications of this blazing realization, this discovery.  I felt like a genius for understanding it all so clearly.   I am me.  I am me and this, my skin, is where I end.  I'm inside me, inside this skin, this body.  I'm in here.  Deep inhale.  Profound moment.

These little milestone moments, when and if I can find them are gems on a growth chart and I love tracking them down, the most special moments I can see for my kids lives, though I know there's many more going on in their hearts and minds that I can't see.

And I'm learning that one fantastically special piece of marking these moments like an x on a map or a notch on their growth charts is in sharing literature with them... What a joy to get to enjoy such good stories with our kids.

How rich we are to invest in stories- reading aloud, listening, loving, exploring, reacting, remembering, learning from stories together.  There is some phenomenal literature out there and I don't think we'll run out of the good stuff by next year like I suspected  not too long ago.

I'm reading Tirzah to our kids aloud right now.  We. Love. It.  What a fantastic privilege to enter into such a story (Tirzah is the story of a young Israelite Jew as she is released, with her people, from slavery in Egypt), to engage with it and enjoy and expand our hearts and minds around these stories together.

We finished reading Caddie Woodlawn a little while ago.  It wasn't striking me as quite the stellar book I was hoping it would be, until about the halfway point.  Then we started laughing out loud a bit more.  And then, at the end of this sweet rolling, like a lazy, enjoyable river, kind of story there was this paragraph that perfectly marked the map for me, Caddie Woodlawn with even more profound words than my discovery at the slide-top.  Her story closes with these two paragraphs:

"What a lot has happened since last year...  How far I've come!  I'm the same girl and yet not the same. I wonder if it's always like that? Folks keep growing from one person into another all their lives, and life is just a lot of everday adventures.  Well, whatever life is, I like it."

"The late afternoon sun flooded her face with golden light.  Looking toward the approaching rider, her face was turned to the west.  It was always to be turned westward now, for Caddie Woodlawn was a pioneer and an American."


  

The Real Question is...

I love Jesus' words to his disciples about being the salt of the earth.  The idea usually swirls in my mind about our role to make the world thristy for Christ.   But oh to be changed by these words that John Stott wrote about it too...

"The notion is not that the world is tasteless and that Christians can make it less insipid, ('The thought of making the world palatable to God is quite impossible.') but that it is putrefying.  It cannot stop itself from going bad.  Only salt introduced from outside can do this." (p 59)  (He wrote earlier of "biltong" meat in South Africa, that if cured with salt properly would keep indefinetely.)

"Christian salt has no business to remain snugly in elegant little ecclesiastical salt cellars; our place is to be rubbed into the secular community, as salt is rubbed into meat, to stop it going bad.  And when society does go bad, we Christians tend to throw up our hands in pious horror and reproach the non-Christian world; but should we not rather reproach ourselves?  One can hardly blame unsalted meat for going bad.  It cannot do anything else.  The real question to ask is:  Where is the salt?"  (p 65)

From the exquisite commentary "The Message of the Sermon on the Mount:  Christian Counter Culture."

Some good news:   Here's some salt.   A man who has saved 1,000 babies.  I'm sure there's lots of salt out there, but for now, just this one beautiful link to a preserver of life.

Honor {and two golden books on parenting}

A while ago I heard a friend mention "Good and Angry:  Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids" as a key book for their family.  I'm pretty sure I ordered it that very day and I am grateful.  I've loaned it to another friend now so I can't copy any of the best nuggets to share here... but it's gold to be sure.  I found it to be super helpful and practical and encouraging...  I love the authors' approaches to "taking a break" and the clear way to communicate instructions for kiddos.  I found it very nurturing for relationships in our home.

And then I saw that they had a funny-covered book about whining.  (Vivi looked at the cover and said "why he so grumpy?"  I don't really love the cover or the title either.... but don't judge it and miss it, folks!)   The need came up in a conversation with friends- whining is a hard one for us mamas!- and my dear friend and I agreed we'd both read it.  

Lucky me... I got it first.  Another goldmine.  I love how the book starts.....  "This is a book about honor."  The authors give a simpler definition of honor but I've taken what they wrote and expanded it to be another page of essentials for our fridge. (Their explanation of honor is this:  "Treating people as special, doing more than what's expected, and having a good attitude. p 13.)  I know,  I've probably made 43 of these that have each been through a cycle on the fridge....  maybe they've each been good for their season?  Here's my page, poorly designed but still worthy aims!

Oh for this to be the tone, the culture of our family, the agreed-upon aims for our lives together.  Oh for the Lord to be glorified, our only comfort and help, in this entire endeavor!

HONOR

Love, Serve, and Give to others sacrificially, above yourself 

Treat people as special

Do more than what’s expected 

All things with excellence and care

Choose Contentment & Joy 

Give Thanks

Trust the promises of God  

His word is for you and it is true

Worship and Delight in God  

Pray for Humility, Wisdom, Passion & Fruitfulness For your King's Glory and for your eternal gladness in Him