|ˈtre ch ərē|noun ( pl. -eries)betrayal of trust; deceptive action or nature
Our niece Maelee was 38 weeks grown in the womb when she died. We believe with confident hope that she went straight to be with Jesus and that her life in his presence now is very, very good. But loosing her, for those still here, is a way more painful blow than I think I would have even begun to comprehend had it not hit this close to home (and for sure, I don't get it all, but I think I've tasted it more truly now).
I have lost my mom. My grieving process for that is different from other women who have lost their moms. My mom, my whole family, whole past... my own mourning. Especially for that initial season, it was awful. 5+ years later, I still yearn for her and cry for her, though there is also a real healing now to that sorrow for me. But, that death was more of the natural order of things that we expect in this fallen world. (Death is still not what we were created for, but when we really face life squarely, who can deny that death is at the end of it, and usually not too far down the road?)
One of the things that marks this loss- a stillborn- as this exquisitely painful, is the timing of it. There is never a good time for death. But for it to strike right when the hopes are highest- 38 weeks of mounting hope, anticipation, joy, dreams all waiting for that first breath of life- that's one of the nastiest things to it. I HATE it.
Lowdown, filthy, scumbag, treachery of the worst kind. If I'm playing cards with a cheater, I'll call it when I see it. How much more for this?
Truly, every death qualifies as cheating, a grievous battle at least momentarily lost to the Enemy. This one, it seems to me, at least right now, to have more of a sting of treachery to it. But all death ought to make us wake up to the reality of what it is we live for, and our only Hope to live it well. Surely our only Hope to LIVE this life and live beyond it is the One who overcame death for us.
Simply belonging to Christ- that nail-scarred Man of Sorrows, Suffering Servant, Risen One- and him being my battle commander, emboldens my spirit to want to fight for life.... and I hope to fight well for his glory.
Heather put a few words together in an email this week: "Pray for me to not waste this, to learn to love the Lord more deeply through it."
Amen. We will be praying.