Self Control, Part Three
Toddlers. Slowness. Disobedience. Potty Training. Temper Tantrums.
For me, nothing has rubbed my sore need for humility and patience harder than some of these moments. These moments with the dearest and weakest people in my life.
Too many times well meaning friends have tried to encourage me that my maternal madness is justifiable. I really don’t need any support for this. My own pride does a great job deceiving me at these opportunities. But I think all such justification and unkindness and impatience is really just plain, dirty sin.
Scripture is clear: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another...” This, mixed with all of Jesus’ stooping, serving, patient, joyful, gentle love towards children and his aim that we should love children like that too (it’s exactly how we love him) is too solid a stone. I stumble right there.
I can’t keep walking ahead proudly if I have treated my kids unkindly because we’re late and they should know how important it is that we get out the door. Or if I plop my girl down on the potty harshly because she just had seven accidents, and now she tells me she needs to go? Or when my four year old is howling because he doesn’t want to wear those socks.... can I not handle myself calmly to love him soundly as he needs?
Kindness. I need and really want to treat my kids with kindness. Not just most of the time. I don't think that being their authority- even in discipline moments- allows me to be unkind. Nothing permits unkindness. It's all sin.
I need a great dose of repentance. Sweet filling of God’s Spirit for long-suffering, serving, loving, joyous, self control to bless these immeasurably precious gifts, these eternal images of God, that he has entrusted to me. Entrusted to me for me to model his patient grace and care and love for them.
I will fail. My kids will know that every day and every day we’ll all look to Jesus for forgiveness and grace. But may that same grace also go far in empowering me to be self-controlled in my love and service for these little treasures. I do believe that’s what his grace is intended for.
Come and do your work here, Word and Spirit of God!
Thank you, Jill! The Lord is revealing so much of my selfishness and harshness (is that a word?) in how I raise my kids. I loved reading this! I pray that He works in my heart as well as yours... You have such a tender spirit - I love you, dear friend!
ReplyDeleteOuch! This is good stuff, Jill...yes, I too have these moments when I wonder what came over me that I would cry (or holler) over spilled milk? Grace, grace, and more grace....and perhaps spending more time with Him so I can be changed, changed, and changed some more....love you, Mama!
ReplyDeleteHi Jill, I think those are lessons that we all need to learn, and it is amazing, and hard, that He often uses the people closest in our lives to show us the areas we need to grow. There is a lot of the fruit that is missing in my daily interactions with people. It is great to be back on line and be able to check in on you and your family. I hope you guys are doing well in your new home. please tell the rest of the gang there that I say "Hi"
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how you found me, but I'm glad, because I, in turn, found you.
ReplyDeleteAnd could I possibly write a sentence with more commas??
I'm itching to know - where are you?? I know, the answer is here, somewhere. I just need to keep digging. I'm intrigued.
Your blog is truth-packed. This post especially struck a nerve, because, well, I have small children. ;) I hear what you're saying here, loud and clear!
Blessings,
Shannan