During this time in the states, I have become very aware of some of the great areas of my life so needy of the Lord's transforming grace, continued kind conviction, and patient work of sanctification.
I am convicted to be more self-controlled (largely in communicating with my husband and communicating instruction and discipline for our kids). Don't get so heated, Jill! And don't allow myself to be so darn impatient.
I desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman who is lighthearted in life- laughing at the days to come- and not stressing and obsessing over details that hardly matter and are nothing compared to eternity. Christlike character, I am convinced, is deeply JOYFUL.
I want to grow in virtue, to press hard after Christ, to seek first his kingdom, to consider everything else a loss.... I don't want to be bound to a life that is "ordinary," sinfully weak and unchallenged, unrefined, empty. I want Christ- more of him and less of me. Give me grace to move beyond what binds and defines my natural self, oh True Supernatural God.
I need to pray and I need to speak bold challenges to myself because apart from the great grace of God I would not even be maintaining the status quo... I would for sure be deteriorating fast. Oh Great God, come. Work graciously in me for your glory, and for my joy and the joy of those that I can serve. Give us great, abiding, and deep joy in you, Lord!
And Lord, if you would have us suffer, may we remember that our temporary trials and sufferings here are nothing when compared to what you will reveal. May we, may I, remember that it is a high honor to be refined through sufferings to be made more into of the image of Christ.
In a similar spirit of desire, here is Trevin Wax's good prayer for the new year:
Lord God Almighty,
I understand that I am unable to do anything without your help,
so I ask you to enable me by your grace to fulfill your will.
Give me grace to do whatever brings most glory and honor to you,
pleasure and profit to me,
and life and love to others.
Help me to number my days,
spending my time wisely,
living my life with all my might while I still have breath.
Humble me in the knowledge that I am chief of sinners;
when I hear of the sins of others,
help me to not look upon them with pride,
but to look upon myself with shame,
confessing my own sins to you.
When I go through difficulties and trials,
remind me of the pains of hell
from which you have already delivered me.
Place people in my path who need my help,
and give me a compassionate and generous spirit.
Fill my heart with such love
that I would never do anything out of a spirit of revenge,
nor lose my temper with those around me.
Hold my tongue when I am tempted to speak evil of others.
Thank you for the gospel and for the hope of glory.
Help me to live in light of these truths every day of my life,
so that when the time of my death arrives,
I will rest assuredly in you,
and you will be most glorified in me.
In Christ’s name…
- Trevin Wax (adapted from the first 21 of Jonathan Edwards’ resolutions) www.trevinwax.com