Detour... on the self control route

I've felt pretty squeemish about posting such a vulnerable view of my heart in these thoughts about self control recently. I've decided that it's unnecessarily painful and, more importantly, just plain dumb to write all this "for public accountability."

I am still heading the same direction with these thoughts, though. But, I feel a lot better about writing for the purpose of "undefending my sin." All the things I'm thinking of for this issue matter to me because at some point I've discussed with one or maybe one hundred different people sin that too often ends up being defended or justified by me or by others. There's never a justification for it. My make-up tricks don't hide what is truly ugly. And I don't want to hide...

I want to be transformed by Christ, filled with his Spirt, to love radically and serve sacraficially. Too often I think of this kind of battle cry as something to demonstrate to those outside... but I think it must be pure and true right here in my heart and home before it can be shown to, let alone, change the world.